Chapter 1


Sigh. I am a good for nothing freak. Just look at me! Wait, don’t do that you’ll just puke your guts out. I’m fifteen, a sophomore, and I was considered the nerdiest, fattest, and freakiest guy in school. Life is so unfair. I’m Nil Eric Cartuanie. Also known as fat-ass Carton, Glut-o-freak, etcetera, etcetera. You may also know me popularly as Nilly Cartoony, the freakishly, freaking, freak human pig. Bit harsh though, if you ask me. But no one does, so… it’s cool. I’m used to it.

When I was born, my mother would’ve said:” If baby boys were these ugly, me and my husband wouldn’t have created one.” Then when my goddess-like sister was born, she said: “If baby girls were this pretty, me and my husband would’ve created an army of ‘em.” Sheesh. Parents and their hormones. They’re nuts, all right. But, well, I can’t blame them. My thirteen-year old sister, Sophia Katrina Cartuannie, is, considered the “IT” girl of middle school. As if. If you ask me, she just got lucky (Something that I completely repel, by the way.). Dang it. So, li’l Sophie has auburn hair and golden eyes and a decent figure while his good for nothing brother’s stuck with jet black hair and gray eyes and a very, very, fat body. 110 pounds is not that big, right?!? Yeah, as if. Whatever. My sister’s perfect and I am a dork. She’s even smarter than me. 110 for an IQ. Gimme a break. That’s low right?
Huh. Whatever. Freaks. They think they’re so cool and all. Fred and his dim-witted pals. Giving me a wedgie every single day in the bathroom after I took a break fro stupid stinking Algebra. Algebra. Great. Who invented this subject anyway? This was sent from hell. X and Y. I hate those letters.
My life sucks. It’s full of crap. Crap, crap, and more crap. Why am I such a freak anyway?!? I mean, c’mon! There are lots of stupid-looking kids somewhere, but why me?!?! Why am I cursed!!! Aaahhh!!!! I hate this shit. Hate it, hate it, hate it! My sister gets to be… normal, while I get to be a freak.
Walking to and fro school damages a lot for your already crumbling ego. There’s no, like self-preservation left in me anymore. Day, after boring day, you get picked on, humiliated, and picked on some more. Miraculously, I was able to survive (how the hell do I do it?). Today there’s an addition to the small student body here (Literally, it’s small. All of us practically grew up in the dorkiness of each other). Base from my suckingly poor eavesdropping skills, the addition was a girl. Based from the data I gathered, (which was not much to start) her name was Janishah Phoebe Martinez. Spanish. Ick. I suck in Spanish. I think the only subject I’m suck-free is good ol’ History. Well, it’s better than sucking all of those stupid subjects. Blech. Anyway, back to the new girl. She was expected to be around on Monday. Like I care. She would probably wind up being with Heather and her group of superbly looking unique teen friends, anyway (slut). I gotta admit, though, they are hot. There are five of them and who-wee. It sets the room on fire. Well, I only mean the clothing not the looks. Okay, so maybe they have quite the looks, but come on! Halters, tubes, boots, fishnets, and barrettes! It would be much better if they were naked (me and my hormones).